More and more people are choosing to do so, and one reason is precisely because it keeps a new mother from becoming over-tired. It is less tiring to roll over and give your baby your breast than to have to get up, turn on lights, and walk across a room or into another room. Plus, you can respond more quickly to your baby before the baby gets fully awake (thus making it often harder to get them back to sleep after feeding).

People due it safely all of the time. Here are some basic guidelines:
1. Choose a large-sized bed, like a king or queen, if baby will be sleeping with both parents or buy a twin mattress set to put up against a standard or queen. (This second option is not really more expensive than a crib and can be moved to the other room when the child is older.) 2. Put box springs and mattress on floor and push against wall.
3. Do not put newborn between parents; put between wall and mother giving baby the bulk of room. 4. Do not use pillows or blankets in babies sleeping area of the bed; use thicker sleeper outfit or sleep sack on cold night. 5. Have mother use thin blankets or double up clothing at night if cold. Many parents are also using co-sleeper bassinets that attach to the bed but give the baby it’s own designated sleeping space. And personally I don’t mind giving up fancy comforters and such if it is in the best interest of me and my baby.

Accidental suffocation is an accident, but that does not mean that some accidents can not be prevented if there is better education. Like I said, perhaps there would be fewer instances of this if parents were given information to do it safely. Parents in America are dependent on medical doctors to make all of their decisions for them, but even medical doctors don’t have all of the correct answers. And doctors can be just as prone to uninformed cultural bias as the next person. And while the official AAP position may be to promote room-sharing, it is not a position promoted very heavily. Parents are told fifty billion times to lay their baby on their backs to sleep to preven SIDS, but they are not often told that having their baby in the same room can eliminate the risk even more.

And I agree that successful breastfeeding does not require bed-sharing. And even dealing with a newborn, I have had to sit up to get the nursing position right for the first few weeks. It is less exhausting than having to go in another room. Co-sleeping is also less stressful for both parent and child as the baby goes to sleep easier next to a parent than by itself and the parent doesn’t have to worry about waking the baby up when transferring to a crib.

Further, from an anthropoligical standpoint, it is true that most families have bedshared throughout history. Do you plan on sleeping with your infant in the same type of bedding situation? That means you give up your nice comfortable mattress, your pillow-topper, your quilt, your pillows etc. Eastern cultures generally sleep on a pallet on the floor. They also tend to sleep with their infant perpendicular to the parents with t he infant positioned above the parents heads.

Finally, we careful of statements like “They don’t explain that in 99% of these cases the parent was drunk, taking illegal or prescription drugs, or obese.” Where do you get that number from? I work with families every day who have experienced the unexpected death of an infant. In some cases it’s rulled SIDS and in others accidental suffocation. In almost all cases, they are loving, caring well-intentioned parents. It is possible to bedshare with an infant and make it less dangerous, but in US culture, it’s nearly impossible to make it safe.

How can you measure the tiredness level of a new parent. Especially one that has little support from extended family and has to get up and go to work the next day? Accidental suffocation is an ACCIDENT. A horrible tragic accident. Just because it didn’t happen to you doesn’t make you better, it makes you lucky.

Breastfeeding is absolutely the best way to go, but successful breastfeeding does not require bed-sharing. Placing baby in a safe crib in the same room as Mom works just as well. Baby can hear you breathing. Mom and Dad can easily tend to babies needs. Bring baby into bed to feed, but for sleep – place them back in a safe crib. Why take the chance?