7 Quick Takes (v. 59): 1st Trimester Highlights

We just announced this week that we are expecting Baby #5 in August.  Here are some highlights that didn’t make it into the original blog post.

1.  Literally thirty seconds after I saw the positive on the home pregnancy test, my husband called to tell me that he was going out to lunch with a colleague who wanted to pick my husband’s brain about parenthood.  I immediately burst out into hysterical laughter, and then had to explain what I had just learned.

2.  Advent is an interesting time to learn that you have a surprise pregnancy on your hands.  You constantly hear about how Mary was told that she was about to have a really big surprise pregnancy, and yet she trusted in the Lord and just said “yes”.  Let’s just say that I was feeling very un-Mary-like at first….until I went to confession and took it to my priest.  He recommend that I pray for Mary’s intercession to help me become an obedient daughter.  I really felt more at peace after that.

3.  Bailey (9) did not take the news of the new baby very well.  There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Then the next day she was so excited that she was hoping for twin girls and ready to pick out baby names.  Piper (6) was excited from the beginning, and she likes the idea of a baby brother.  Katie (3) wasn’t sure at first, but after a little bit she said she was glad we were going to have a new baby.  Sabrina (18 months) is blissfully unaware.

4.  My husband and I were actually trying to avoid pregnancy, and the reasons for avoiding still seem pretty valid.  But besides those worries, I must admit that I was a little embarrassed to have to admit an NFP failure, especially to my peeps that are skeptical of it to begin with.  I learned, thanks to ultrasound technology, that it really wasn’t an NFP failure as much as a failure of us following the NFP rules to the letter.  We bent the Day 6 rule.  And while the chances of me getting pregnant when we bent that rule were still extremely slim (like 1%), if we hadn’t bent it the chances of me getting pregnant would have probably been completely non-existent.  So, it wasn’t that the science was wrong; it was just our application of it.

5.  I’ve actually had to have two ultrasounds to check on the progression of the baby thanks to some small bleeding issues I was having.  The first doctor looked at me like I was crazy when I explained that I use NFP.  The second doctor, though, just took it in stride.  When I explained that our third baby was conceived while using artificial birth control, she said that she got pregnant with her first child when she was on the pill.  I think most people discount NFP because they have this illusion that surprise pregnancies only occur if one doesn’t use artificial birth control or because one is too stupid to use it correctly.  They don’t realize that artificial birth control is not as foolproof as they think.

6.  My pregnancy symptoms started to really hit the week of Christmas.  I would just get hit with these waves of exhaustion that would almost make me pass out.  My husband found me head down on the kitchen table next to my plate full of Christmas dinner.  He said, “Why don’t you just go lie down?”  “I’m so tired,” I cried, “but I am also SO hungry.”  So I would take a few bites, lay my head down, take a few bites, and lay my head down.  It was rather pitiful, but those mashed potatoes were so good.

7.  It was so great to see two of my three midwives this week (the third was on call).  They are just so much fun, and they always have a big hug for me.  Each one of the three has caught a baby for me, so it will be interesting to see which one will get a second chance in August.  I feel blessed to have stumbled upon an OB/GYN practice that keeps CNM’s on staff.  While I don’t exactly look forward to the actual act of childbirth, I feel confident that things will be good with any of them by my side…no unnecessary procedures, respect for my comfort level and preferences, and lots of laughter.

Explore posts in the same categories: 7 Quick Takes, Pregnancy/Childbirth/Babies

4 Comments on “7 Quick Takes (v. 59): 1st Trimester Highlights”

  1. Kelly Says:

    I have a lot of thoughts on number four. I think people kind of know that birth control isn’t failproof because everyone knows someone who got pregnant on the pill or something like that. I actually know a woman who got pregnant on the pill, had a tubal, got pregnant again, and had a second tubal.

    When someone gets pregnant using artificial birth control then people shrug it off as a one time unusual thing, whereas NFP is seen as inherently ineffective, so it isn’t surprising if you get pregnant while you use it.

    The reality is that it is very effective, but also very unforgiving. If you forget to put a condom on once, what are the odds that it is during the time that the woman is fertile? Forgetting to take the pill once or even twice during the month doesn’t usually change the effectiveness. But with NFP, you don’t have the fall back cushion of “maybe it wasn’t the fertile time then” because any sort of taking a chance will occur when you’re more likely to get pregnant.

    I have always been really curious what the actual rate of effectiveness for the various barrier methods is, because they are tested through the entire month. That’s kind of like testing life preservers for a month but only actually putting water in the pool for a week.

    • barboo77 Says:

      I really think a lot of people believe that birth control only fails because it was used incorrectly (“they deserved to get pregnant for being too stupid to know how to use it right”). And among my rabidly pro-abortion friends I see those comments all the time along with the myth that contraception prevents the need for abortions. And it’s funny to me the people who know of someone who has become pregnant after a tubal ligation and yet still push it as a permanent fix.

      You’re right, though, about NFP being very effective but highly unforgiving if you fudge the rules. I remember Toni Weschler saying that (although I think her rules were actually a little looser than the CCL ones). I remember her saying that while someone might not have a moral objection to using a barrier method if they felt they just have to have sex during their fertile time, it was kind of like playing Russian roulette, since it really only takes one bullet at the wrong time.

  2. Valerie Says:

    I loved reading these, even if they happened awhile back. My husband and I just found out about four days ago that we are expecting Baby #5 (surprisingly to us.) We also practice, and teach, NFP and were trying to postpone pregnancy. We used the less conservative Last Dry Day rule. Apparently my phase two was a little shorter than normal, so lo and behold we have shockingly been blessed with a child. Now that our initial shock has worn off, I keep thinking what an awesome time to find out we are expecting. Just a couple of weeks ago, during the feast of the Annunciation, I was yearning to be pregnant, but knew under our circumstances that I shouldn’t be. God must have been chuckling at me all along, knowing that He had already gifted us with a new little soul. With a due date around 12/14/12, I am thinking that 12/12/12 would be an awesome birthday. The number is awesome, but also the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Blessings to you!

    • Barbara C. Says:

      After #4, I kept praying “Dear Lord, please bless me just don’t bless me in that way!” I firmly believe that God has a sense of humor!! LOL While the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe would be an awesome birthday, just remember what the Lord does at our plans, and babies don’t seem to care much about them either. 😉 Blessings to you, too!!

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