Archive for June 2016

What I Want

June 18, 2016

In the past year I’ve figured out what I want for my life.  There have been a lot of things that have formed these ideas…from The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up to the process of trying to put myself and my life together after my divorce to facing the realities of being in a romantic relationship as a single mom.

What I want:

1.  I want less.  I want less stuff that has to be cleaned, maintained, and organized.  I want fewer bills and fewer responsibilities.  With five kids, my life will never be simple, but it could be simpler.

For a multitude of reasons, but also in line with this goal, I am hoping to sell my house and move us into a rental house in the next year.  This means a lot less debt, fewer bills (hopefully some lower utility bills), and less responsibility for upkeep and replacement.

And in preparation for showing the house and moving, I’ve already started boxing things up and massive decluttering.  I’ve become brutal with some of my culling.  And anything that I can’t find a donation spot for within a month of me packing it up goes to the landfill.

2.  I want more flexibility.  When I first got married at the age of 22, I wanted the 40-year mortgage American dream, the white picket fence.  Now at the age of 39, I can’t wait to get rid of my mortgage.  I don’t ever want to feel stuck living in one place again.  I want to be able to downsize living quarters and expenses easily as the kids grow up and move on (refer to #1).  It’s much easier to break a lease than to get out of a mortgage.

3.  I want more independence.  I’ve always been a fairly independent person, but for the majority of my marriage I was a financial dependent.  I honestly probably would have left that unhealthy situation sooner if I hadn’t been afraid of how it would affect the quality of life for my children.  But I am determined to not be in that situation again.  I don’t want a man to financially support me, nor do I want a man who expects me to financially support me.  I’m 95% sure that if I were to ever remarry I would want mostly separate finances.

These are the goals that I am working towards a little bit at a time.  I don’t expect to be where I really want to be with them for at least another two to three years, but to me these goals feel like they will be the difference between truly thriving for the first time in my life as opposed to just merely surviving.